Five Therapist-Approved Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Building self-esteem isn’t about becoming someone new; it’s about learning to trust, respect, and care for the person you already are. If you struggle with self-doubt, comparison, or that inner voice that’s way too hard on you, here are five ways to start rebuilding your relationship with yourself.

1. Make Promises to Yourself (and Keep Them)

Think of your relationship with yourself the same way you would with someone else. If a friend constantly let you down, you’d probably stop trusting them, and the same is true internally.

Be mindful of the goals you set and start small. Maybe it’s drinking more water, journaling for five minutes, or going for a walk. When you consistently follow through on small promises, you slowly rebuild trust and confidence in yourself.

2. Swap Criticism for Compassion

Notice how you talk to yourself. Would you speak to a friend that way? Your inner critic might think it’s being helpful, but often it’s just keeping you stuck in shame.

Next time you catch yourself thinking, “I’m such a failure,” try reframing it to something more compassionate, like “I’m trying my best right now.”

Remember, having compassion for yourself doesn’t mean ignoring mistakes. You can take accountability and be kind to yourself at the same time.

3. Ask Yourself, “What Would My Confident Self Do?”

Confidence doesn’t always come first, action does. You don’t need to feel confident to act confident. Sometimes, you have to lead with behavior before the feeling catches up.

If your insecure self wants to avoid that social event or stay quiet in a meeting, pause and ask, “What would my confident self do?” Then try to do that. Over time, these choices add up and start to shift how you see yourself.

4. Make Yourself Proud Every Day

Try to end each day feeling proud of even one small thing you did, especially if it pushed you out of your comfort zone. Whether you spoke up, set a boundary, or simply took care of yourself when it would’ve been easier not to, those moments matter.

When you consistently look for ways to make yourself proud, your self-esteem grows from evidence, not perfection.

5. Get Comfortable Being Alone

Learning to enjoy your own company is one of the most powerful ways to build self-esteem. Try doing small things by yourself like grocery shopping, going for a walk without headphones, or eating at a restaurant solo.

If you don’t like being with yourself, it’s hard to believe others would, either. But when you learn to genuinely enjoy your own presence, you’ll start to feel more confident and grounded, with or without company.

Final Thoughts

Improving your self-esteem isn’t about constant positivity or confidence; it’s about building trust, compassion, and pride in yourself over time. You don’t have to have it all figured out to start feeling better. Even small shifts in how you treat yourself can completely change the way you move through the world.